THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT NIGERIAN POLITICS..

Politics as we always call it, is a dirty game, have you asked yourself why people call it a dirty game?

Here are Few things you need to know before going into politics:

1. To win elections in Nigeria, you need spiritualists, thugs and money.

2. You need thugs and spiritualists because your life is not safe. You can get killed by assassins, sent by your opponents who also want the same position.

3. You need money because that is what it is all about. Once you declare your interest in politics, every one around you is likely to believe that you have saved some money aside, or stolen some money, or you have rich Godfathers who have given you money, and you are stupid enough to throw it around, and that only a gambler goes into politics. They want their own share of what you have.

4. You need the spiritualists because your opponents, believe it or not, will take your name everywhere to their own spiritualists and their minimum objective is to destroy you, or well, stop you.

5. Don’t ever make the mistake of eating outside. Important political figures in Nigeria do not eat outside. They pretend to be fasting. If you see any Nigerian politician, eating and talking anyhow at a public forum, ignore him, he is not yet ready. He is planning to move from depression mode to suicide.

6. The law says thugs are not allowed. The tradition is that every politician has a small team of able-bodied men. The state security agencies can’t protect you. Get your own men, and get lawyers too. Lawyers want to chop too. They will help you protect the thugs.

7. If you can help it, keep your wives and children out of the fray. Your opponents will make them an issue if you throw them into the game.

8. Beware of the consultants. Many of them will come to you. They know everything. They worked with that Governor and that Senator and they know everything about the media and the field of politics. Just be careful. Politics is about strategy but half the strategists out there are fake.

9. By all means, pray. Pray hard. You may not win, but if you are alive, you may try again. And don’t be squeamish about this: in Brazil, one imbecile called Adelio Bispo de Oliveira put a knife through a Presidential aspirant’s stomach and nearly killed him. In Nigeria, the situation could have been worse. Seek to be a winner, not a martyr.

10. Like the Boys’ Scout, be prepared…

This is my advice to you: my short manual on Nigerian politics. There is a longer version where this came from.

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Created and Edited by Anthony Samuel, a Business Management Graduate from Imo State University. "I love politics and african music culture, i blog about facts concerning my country for a living and i enjoy doing it!"

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